I think it’s fair to say The Road isn’t the most optimistic movie made over the past few years. It’s certainly thought provoking about life in a post-apocalyptic future. I viewed it as a learning experience which could save me a lot of time, unpleasantness and limbs in the event of an apocalypse. Here are some important lessons I learned from watching this movie.
- NAMA is a waste of time and money.
- Nobody bothers to look behind them in a post-apocalyptic future
- You won’t need to describe anything as “bleak”. It’s a given!
- There’s a light somewhere that needs to be “kept alive”. It’s unclear whether it’s battery or mains operated.
- Coke will finally win its long battle with Pepsi for cola supremacy. It’s not so much “The Real Thing” as the “Only Thing” if you want to quench your post-apocalyptic thirst
- Nobody will need to “wear suncreen”. The entire cosmetics industry will be unnecessary in a world without bars, nightclubs, parties and sunlight
- Republicans will take their revenge against Democrats by _eating_ them. On the plus side there’ll be no more Fox News
- If someone invites you “round for dinner”. Refuse!
- We won’t have to worry about “peak oil” cos there won’t be any cars.
- Names will no longer be used. This could get confusing but you won’t meet anyone else for 80% of your post-apocalyptic future so it won’t matter. When you eventually meet someone they’re more likely to try to eat you than make friends.
- Social media won’t seem very important without food, water, safety, hope etc. Industry analysts will admit that Facebook was overvalued.
- Judging by the ash, lack of sunlight and planes, that damn Icelandic volcano caused it all!
- Gartner got it WRONG. Didn’t see this coming in any “magic quadrant”
- The earth’s population will be decimated but there will be a shortage of clothes
- Apocalypses don’t need coherent causes or effects. For example, despite a lack of sunlight and an obviously cold environment, trees will randomly catch fire.
Feel free to add your own!