My mind is like an old rusty sieve at the moment so I thought the following quotation was apt.
“Blessed are the forgetful; for they get the better even of their blunders..” – Friedrich Nietszche.
Categories
Category: humour
How many Portuguese footballers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: A full squad of 20 plus their manager
- Five to simultaneously roll around on the ground clutching various body parts, at different ends of the pitch
- One to flick his hair, a lot
- One to have a legitmate grievance with lightbulbs which is ignored by the referee because his teammates are such tossers.
- One to step over the bulb…and again… and again…
- Four to gather around the referee trying to get the bulb sent off
- One to wink and blow kisses at the referee after he got the bulb sent off
- One lightbulb wizard to do… absolutely nothing really…
- One designated bulb changer who disappears everytime the bulb comes near him
- One to hit the ground right before he makes contact with the bulb
- Three players who can’t change a bulb but who can definitely take a penalty
- One fat manager to throw a tantrum about the new FIFA regulation bulb
- & one veteran winger to change the bulb as none of his teammates know how
Radia Perlman, the inventor of the algorithm summarised it in the form of a poem, titled “Algorhyme”: Her poem was modified from the original entitled “Trees”, by the American poet Joyce Kilmer.
I think that I shall never see
A graph more lovely than a tree.
A tree whose crucial property
Is loop-free connectivity.
A tree which must be sure to span.
So packets can reach every LAN.
First the Root must be selected
By ID it is elected.
Least cost paths from Root are traced
In the tree these paths are placed.
A mesh is made by folks like me
Then bridges find a spanning tree.
Thanks to Parisch Browne for this one!
With thanks to RedIssue.
I’m sure Johnny K will get a kick out of this.
- Theirry didn’t use a new shaving blade and the drag factor slowed him down
- Lehmann’s breakfast egg’s over-cooked by 5 seconds causing him to fall heavily for the red card sending off. The Arsenal board will sue the hotel
- The coach taking them to the stadium was coloured green – which is bad luck
- Wenger: “Our players didn’t get enough time to recover from the last game of the season” (two weeks ago)
- Wenger: “Unsettled future of Campbell, Cole and Henry unsettled the team spirit”
- Wenger: “The home advantage was clearily and unfairly in Barcelona’s favour as Spain is closer to France than to England”
- Eboue didn’t dive. The TV camera lens had a slight distortion on them making it seem that was. Eboue will be out injured next season
- The bright reflection from Eto’s smiling teeth momentarily blinded Almunia for the first goal
- Campbell: “The second goal wouldn’t have happened if the England manager had allowed Walcott to room with me. I’ve been worried to death about him rooming all on his own.”
- Eboue: “It’s about time the world footballing authorities did something about divers.”
Excellent game though. One of the most enjoyable in years.