Beware knee-jerk reactions and consider consequences.
“All bad precedents begin as justifiable measures.”
— Julius Caesar (100-44 B.C.)
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Author: shaned
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holiday movies – Av300
It’s fair enough to suggest that most people will watch movies during the holiday season that they wouldn’t normally dream of. Not only that but they’ll watch them repeatedly. This holidays I managed to watch one of the most dumbest movies ever made for the second time. The film in question is the John Woo movie Broken Arrow. My first introduction to this movie was when Scott Adams mentioned it in his book “The Joy of Work”. The overall impression is of a fun but mindless movie and this is definitely the case. R & I watched with her concluding that it was just one explosion after another with little to connect them. Logic and laws of physics are gleefully dispensed with throughout the movie as the IMDB’s list of factual errors attests. My particular favorites are the EMP from the underground nuclear explosion (misunderstanding the cause of an EMP in the first place) and the skinny girl throwing the hammer which hits the guy in the head and knocks him into the air. It’s not even probable but the movie seems to have a cult following based on pure daftness. So this got me thinking about a script of improbable silliness.. which is guaranteed to be a blockbuster success and a surefire hit during the holiday season.
Witness Alexander versus the 300 or AV300. The movie would consist of two independent 3 hour movies with little in common except name but shown back to back, being true to old addage “more may not be less but it’s definitely more”. To direct this masterpiece I think from recent viewings the most qualified directors are Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez on the first movie working in tandem with Peter Jackson, John Woo and Ang Lee for the sequel which may or may not be a prequel or even a trequel.
The plot is a work of genius as I’m sure you’ll agree. In my story Alexander the Great didn’t die (from poisoning or bad dialogue) in Babylon but instead met an alchemist (philosopher in the US version) who told him about magical spring of water producing eternal life in a strange land across a great ocean. Alexander and a crack team of macedonian commandos and military engineers promptly invented a steam engined warship and sailed from the mediterranean sea and crossed the atlantic where they discovered america. Once on the ship the crew discover that Alexander is terrified of sailing and they must repeatedly knock him out by hitting him over the head with a lump hammer.
On their voyage they swap artwork depicting the egyptian pyramids for information and supplies. This later leads to a craze in pyramid building in South America. During their epic voyage they fight many enemies, spill lots and lots of blood, perform many daring escapes including one where they disguise a hole in the fabric of a wigwam with a natty tapestry of Alex himself cutting the Gordian knot. Through their travails they discover the true meaning of friendship. Any similarities between this movie and the myths surrounding the travels of Alexander known as the “Alexander Romance” would be purely coincidental.
Eventually they stumble across a holiday town in
I’ve a speculative cast list below.
Alexander the Great – Colin Farell
Aristotle – Colm Meaney
Leonidas – Russel Crowe (or perhaps Philip Seymour Hoffman, whichever is available)
The Predator – Dennis Hopper (although I’m not actually sure why he’s in the movie)
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Happy 2008
When thinking about the year to come I started musing on my favorite poem. This is not the lateral leap it may seem as I’m afraid due to my increasing banality 🙂 it’s The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. In particular the last few lines of the 3rd verse
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
So I guess my message for 2008 is to take it as it comes, a cascade of new possibilities. Don’t get mired in trying to achieve the targets of 2007. Many will forensically analyse the past year, considering minutae like targets for physical fitness, weight, finances, love etc. A pot-pourri of concerns. Don’t be afraid to dump all these and just get on with life.
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Timely but flawed
The Sunday TImes ran an interesting feature today on the performance of secondary schools in Ireland. However, I must admit I found the ranking system wanting. They ordered schools based on the percentage of their pupils who went to “university” and then to “third level”. This produces the absolutely shocking result that the schools in the richest areas where parents are more likely to be able to afford to send their kids to college are ranked best. Let’s ignore the governmental myth of free education. It’s extremely expensive to put any child through college regardless of the means tested grant. I’m not sure where they got their figures but movetoireland’s estimate of living expenses exceeding 7k per year in Dublin seems quite modest.
According to the survey the top secondary school in the country is the private and Jesuit-run Gonzaga, which has a fine reputation. I’m sure it’s deserved based on a long and proud tradition of learning but … children who are sent to Gonzaga are being sent there with the expectation of going to university. This is emphasised in an application process which I find a little idiosyncratic. Like many of the top 10 schools in the survey a student who is disinclined to continue to third level appears the exception rather than the rule. This is not intended as criticism of the top ranked schools nor am I suggesting this is a bad thing. I’m merely reflecting on the nature of a survey which, in my opinion, doesn’t effectively recognise schools which handle a broader demographic while still getting excellent results.