{"id":287,"date":"2008-01-02T13:38:50","date_gmt":"2008-01-02T13:38:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gaisan.com\/wordp\/?p=287"},"modified":"2026-08-27T21:16:21","modified_gmt":"2026-08-27T21:16:21","slug":"holiday-movies-av300","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/?p=287","title":{"rendered":"holiday movies – Av300"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s fair enough to suggest that most people will watch movies during the holiday season that they wouldn’t normally dream of. Not only that but they’ll watch them repeatedly. This holidays I managed to watch one of the most dumbest movies ever made for the second time. The film in question is the John Woo movie Broken Arrow<\/em>. My first introduction to this movie was when Scott Adams mentioned it in his book “The Joy of Work”. The overall impression is of a fun but mindless movie and this is definitely the case. R & I watched with her concluding that it was just one explosion after another with little to connect them. Logic and laws of physics are gleefully dispensed with throughout the movie as the IMDB’s list of factual errors<\/a> attests. My particular favorites are the EMP from the underground nuclear explosion (misunderstanding the cause of an EMP in the first place) and the skinny girl throwing the hammer which hits the guy in the head and knocks him into the air. It’s not even probable but the movie seems to have a cult following based on pure daftness. So this got me thinking about a script of improbable silliness.. which is guaranteed to be a blockbuster success and a surefire hit during the holiday season.
\nWitness Alexander versus the 300 or AV300. The movie would consist of two independent 3 hour movies with little in common except name but shown back to back, being true to old addage “more may not be less but it’s definitely more”. To direct this masterpiece I think from recent viewings the most qualified directors are Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez on the first movie working in tandem with Peter Jackson, John Woo and Ang Lee for the sequel which may or may not be a prequel or even a trequel.
\nThe plot is a work of genius as I’m sure you’ll agree. In my story Alexander the Great didn’t die (from poisoning or bad dialogue) in Babylon but instead met an alchemist (philosopher in the US version) who told him about magical spring of water producing eternal life in a strange land across a great ocean. Alexander and a crack team of macedonian commandos and military engineers promptly invented a steam engined warship and sailed from the mediterranean sea and crossed the atlantic where they discovered america. Once on the ship the crew discover that Alexander is terrified of sailing and they must repeatedly knock him out by hitting him over the head with a lump hammer.
\nOn their voyage they swap artwork depicting the egyptian pyramids for information and supplies. This later leads to a craze in pyramid building in South America. During their epic voyage they fight many enemies, spill lots and lots of blood, perform many daring escapes including one where they disguise a hole in the fabric of a wigwam with a natty tapestry of Alex himself cutting the Gordian knot. Through their travails they discover the true meaning of friendship. Any similarities between this movie and the myths surrounding the travels of Alexander known as the “Alexander Romance” would be purely coincidental.
\nEventually they stumble across a holiday town in
\nI’ve a speculative cast list below.
\nAlexander the Great – Colin Farell
\nAristotle – Colm Meaney
\nLeonidas – Russel Crowe (or perhaps Philip Seymour Hoffman, whichever is available)
\nThe Predator – Dennis Hopper (although I’m not actually sure why he’s in the movie)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s fair enough to suggest that most people will watch movies during the holiday season that they wouldn’t normally dream of. Not only that but they’ll watch them repeatedly. This holidays I managed to watch one of the most dumbest movies ever made for the second time. The film in question is the John Woo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1705],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=287"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21879,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions\/21879"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}