Hi Honey,
\nThere’s a few things I’d like to say and I always favoured the written word.
\nThe most important thing is that I love you, everything else is an adjunct to
\nthat. I’m so sorry that I shouted at you this morning. I sincerely regret it.<\/p>\n
Last night you said something to me that, to my ears, sounded very harsh. Also,
\nit was said at a delicate time. I understand that you didn’t mean to hurt me
\nbut in all honest your comment about imagining I was someone else during sex
\nhad all the emotional impact of me saying that I pretend you’re a 21 year old
\nduring sex. You are far too sensitive about your own insecurities (many of
\nthese appearance related) to cope with a comment like that well. Be fair to
\nme.
\nI cannot believe you when you say that you don’t understand the remark caused
\nhurt. You have a tendency to assume a moral high ground where none is needed.
\nI’ve never refused an apology from someone I care about so all you had to do
\nwas say you were sorry. For whatever reason you find apologies very hard to do.
\nFrom my perspective this is frustrating as I dont’ ask for many apologies and I
\ntry not to offend you at all.<\/p>\n
I naturally enough wondered why you had to imagine multiple partners as, for me,
\nyou’re all I need. I was entitled to wonder why I wasn’t enough? I never said I
\ndidn’t have sexual fantasies but I don’t have fantasies about other people
\nduring sex. I was hurt by your remark as it seemed casual and while I fully
\nunderstand that you didn’t mean to hurt me, you did.
\nI’ve tried to say this before but if I’m hurt by something you say, I’m entitled
\nto say it. You often react dismissively to any kind of emotional hurt on my part
\nwhich is unfair. It’s not a sign of emotional immaturity on my part.<\/p>\n
Honey, I realise that you were trying to breach a difficult topic with me but I
\nwould prefer if you just came straight out and said some of these things as,
\nfor me,that was not the right time. I was left thinking that every time I make
\nlove to you, you for some reason need to imagine someone else. This isn’t
\nnormal so please don’t insult me by pretending that it is. It’s OK, I
\nunderstand that you’ve had a tough time and you’ve developed defences to match.
\nSome of these include the emotional shutdown that’s very difficult for me to
\ndeal with. There is no high moral ground to be achieved by refusing to
\ncommunicate at all. I don’t think you’re sick. I believe that you have
\ndeep-seated insecurities and defences that are mostly due to your parents. I’m
\ninsecure too, which isn’t exactly a news flash. I have tried subtley to get you
\nto continue going to your therapist as I genuinely believe it could do you a lot
\nof good. Please don’t shoot the messenger here but you are not easy to deal with
\nat times and you’re often not aware of your own complexities. e.g. It isn’t
\nnormal not to be able to cry. It’s difficult to take any comments about me
\nbeing over-sensitive seriously when I’m well aware that your emotional defences
\nare large and looming. I also can’t be your therapist as you’re unwilling to
\nexpose yourself entirely to me, fearing dissaproval. I love you and couldn’t be
\nneutral if I tried.<\/p>\n
The sad thing for me about this morning is that I love you dearly. I love you
\nmore now than when I first met you as I realise how much you’ve had to overcome
\nin your life. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I went to the beach this
\nmorning to get some air and I just sat there crying. I wish I had all the
\nanswers but I don’t. All I know is that you’re my world.<\/p>\n
love you always,<\/p>\n
…shane XXX<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi Honey, There’s a few things I’d like to say and I always favoured the written word. The most important thing is that I love you, everything else is an adjunct to that. I’m so sorry that I shouted at you this morning. I sincerely regret it. Last night you said something to me that, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13184"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13184"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13184\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaisan.com\/blogs\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}